Luminescent
by Hakura0
Summary: Of doubts and need and circumstance, and starlight that shines brightest after a storm. Jack/Doctor Tenth


There was the brief rattling of key within keyhole and the TARDIS door opened, slower then it usually did as the Doctor moved backwards into the console room. He turned once he was in, letting the door shut behind him as he walked further in, clutching the inert figure he was holding to himself almost possessively.

He stopped for a moment, looking down at the other man's too pale face before crouching and depositing him gently onto the grated floor. For a few seconds he just stared, smoothing dark hair slightly against skin that should have been much warmer. The lack of the familiar coat was all too noticeable, the memory of the mutilated garment he'd seen thrown in a corner almost painful, his current state more so.

Unable or unwilling to keep staring at his friend's corpse, the Doctor stood and turned away as he headed for the console. His movements were easy, almost fluid, his muscles tensed as he rested his hands on unoccupied sections of the console. His expression was grim, his eyes dark and his entire being gave off a dangerous feel. The room was deathly silent, as if the air itself felt threatened, the lights dimmed to accommodate him.

Hands balled into fists he looked carefully at nothing, at the space on the console where a button had been at one point but there was nothing left but a wound. Troubled, his mind raced and he pushed to think of something, anything. What had been in that spot, what happened to it, where it was now, if it was important. In the end though, he was returned to the scene he'd walked in on earlier.

_The room had been overlarge and over bright, filled almost to the brim with a massive machine. Wires twisted through it, around parts and trailing on the ground, disappearing into the walls, all leading from the heart of it where a figure was held suspended by the wires that were glowing gold. Jack looked incredibly small in comparison to the mammoth thing he had been hooked up to, blossomed in dark red._

_Up close it had just been worse, as he'd ignored the guards who seemed eager to halt his process and gone to him. The wires weren't just placed on his skin, from the amount of dried blood around each he'd been stabbed, the wires shoved into the wounds and then left planted when they were healed around. There was a coating on the wires, a solution he couldn't quite identify, but its purpose was clear enough. It was allowing the energy that would have been used to revive him to be carried along the wires, powering the machine while he remained dead._

_Except that that hadn't been the case. The energy's source and purpose, yes. The wires, yes. But he hadn't been dead, and a soft, steady and completely out of place sound had come from him, but he at least didn't seem to be conscious. The Doctor had moved almost instantly to unhook him then, sonic screwdriver out to try resonate the wires and make them slide out more easily. He'd had almost half the wires out when he'd heard the gunshots, turned in time to watch as they thudded inches from his face into Jack's chest. Then the sound stopped. After that he'd gone through, taken care of those that deserved it via exactly what they deserved, and closed down the entire thing._

The too-fresh memory predictably did nothing to calm him down. There was something off about the whole thing. They'd been traveling again for years now, and it felt like ages since a separated capture. Especially anything like this. It had been awhile since he'd actually felt he had to worry. He'd gotten used to it; spoiled almost. While it could be argued that this hadn't been any different, really, the fact that he'd been left to finish things by himself, left to stand here and think now while he waited Jack to wake up... In the end it would be just like everything else, with everything else, wouldn't it?

His train of thought was interrupted by an all too solid hand that had made its way onto his shoulder and gripped it lightly. He didn't turn, not ready to meet the human's eyes, and watched instead as another hand stretched out, pressing a button on the console. A familiar song started playing and he curled his fists tighter leaving half moons in his skin. Before he had a chance to respond further he was being turned, the movements gentle but firm. The Doctor let himself be led a few feet from the console, his movements wooden and his face still dark. He opened his mouth to protest, but was once again stopped.

This time it was the look on the other man's face and a whispered "Don't" that gave him pause. He let Jack lead him, cooperating for the dance and slowly relaxing. The song changed once, twice, and a third time while they stayed as they were, Jack's soft hold adamant. It wasn't until his head bowed, burying his face in the Doctor's neck that the Time Lord realized that Jack was using him as a support to keep himself standing. He stopped for a moment, earning himself a questioning glance before he took the lead.

He'd held him up purposefully now, leading to and then through the doorway that led to the rest of the TARDIS, getting no real resistance. The pantomime of the dance was kept up as they moved down the hall further towards another door, both of them still silent. The music fell silent too, the last few strains playing out as they entered the room. Jack collapsed onto the bed like a puppet with it's strings cut just as it ended. He layed there for a few moments with his eyes closed before he was brought back to his surroundings by the Doctor's voice, his tone worried. "Jack?"

"Just tired..." He tried to sound reassuring, but it was enough of a hassle just to achieve audible. Something gave him the impression that the Doctor wasn't very convinced. He managed to sit up, which was a feat in itself, and slumped over as he caught his breath, all too aware of the Time Lord's gaze. Looking himself over for a moment, he made a face. "I'm a mess." Jack found himself suddenly turning to look up at the Doctor. "Are you..?"

His response was a thin smile that failed to meet the eyes it was under. "Fine." Physically, of course. He hadn't had so much as a finger laid on him. The look of relief that crossed Jack's face stung him and he moved on quickly. "You should get some sleep." The Doctor suggested, his tone forcibly easy. The other man nodded, whether because he agreed or because it would have been too much effort to fight it he didn't know. Jack made to start undressing, hands moving clumsily at his shirt in attempt to remove it.

"Here..." The Doctor surprised himself as he moved to give him a hand, leaning to reach the buttons on the mutilated shirt. Jack let his hands fall into his lap in surrender. The occasional graze of fingertips was all the contact made, and soon the unbuttoned shirt was helped off him and onto the floor at his feet. The tee shirt underneath was shed quicker, if anything, and Jack concentrated on the hands running up his sides, then arms as it was pulled over his head. It was infinitely better then the embarrassment that he couldn't undress himself. As he crouched down, stripping off shoes and socks Jack fought with his pants, managing them at least, so that he could work them down his legs to the floor. He was left sitting in his boxers, but it wasn't like the Time Lord had never seen them before.

"Thanks." Jack half muttered with a glance in the Doctor's direction as he made the effort to get his entire body onto the bed and his head somewhere in the vicinity of the pillows. A nod was all the reply he expected and all he got before the Doctor started back towards the door. "Stay-" He all but blurted, his eyes all but slipping closed now. The Doctor continued on his path until he reached the end of the bed, rounding until he was on the opposite side. Shucking himself of his coat, then suit top, he put them onto a nearby chair before toeing off his shoes. Jack smiled slightly as he felt the depression of the other side of the bed as the Doctor first sat, then laid down, arms crossed behind his head, before he drifted off.

For awhile the Doctor just stared at the ceiling, listening to the even breathing on the other side of the bed. After awhile the thoughts began to resurface, doubts and whispers that this would end the same as everything else, with him alone. He argued with himself, bringing up Jack's immortality, how he couldn't leave that way. How even if he had enough, sooner or later the chances were he'd want to come back. But in the back of his mind a traitorous thought reared its head. That Rose hadn't died, had she? Just fallen somewhere out of his reach, beyond what his reach would ever be. That wouldn't it be easy, especially given what had happened today, the reminder that immortal did not equal invincible, that the same could happen to Jack? Wouldn't it be as natural as humans breathing for the universe to do that? Open a breach across not time or space but impossibility and snatch away yet another person that he-

That was the other thing, his timing. Always just in time to be just to later. Never arriving in time to take care of things before they were a serious problem, avert a crisis for once. Or even to just say three words to someone he'd never see again. Still waiting for the last moment when it should have been the first thing he'd said. Instead there'd just been chatter, and hadn't someone told him once how he talked so much but never really said anything? It was true enough, made all the truer by the times he had opened up then.

But whatever he said, whatever meant anything, whoever he told didn't really understand. Even when they said they did, when they'd catch the gist of it, the surface, there was still that wall. That in the scheme of things they were there for the blink of an eye, their lives such a short window in the universe. The certainty they'd be gone, leaving him alone again, either by their own wish or not. However much they knew, or understood or held on, as much as he let his mask be worn or faded away, it was that much more brilliant and that much more horrible when it ended. But for everything he held back, there were that many more regrets when it was through.

The Doctor let his gaze fall to the slumbering figure beside him. The man who couldn't die. The one who might be in the position that placed him closest as any to really understand. Who'd alleviated a vast portion of his worries for a long time when he'd come along again. Still for all that'd happened to him somehow the man he'd left on the Gamestation all that time ago, when such a short period of time had transitioned him so severely from the man he hadn't trusted in the blitz. Who still flirted with him though he was sure nothing would happen, and who he sometimes flirted back to, and while Jack meant it every time and that was him, the Doctor still wasn't sure how often he did.

He lifted himself onto an elbow, just watching him for a few moments. It had been around an hour or two now, still nowhere near the amount of time Jack would need to rest. A niggling thought in the back of the Doctor's mind told him that he should move the TARDIS, get them into the Vortex just in case. But he'd been asked to stay. He reached out experimentally, brushing back his hair again as he'd done earlier, then running his hand lightly down his face. Deep in sleep, Jack didn't respond to the touches. Pulling away he kept his eyes on him as he eased himself off the bed, moving quickly and silently towards the door. When there was still no reaction, he hurried out into the hall and towards the console room.

It was a matter of a few minutes for him to get the TARDIS moved, taking a moment to stroke the console fondly after the smooth dematerialization. Then he was back at the doorway, peering in to discover Jack exactly as he'd left him. He reclaimed his space on the bed once more, this time laying slightly on his side, facing the other man. There was still quite a bit of time left to go, the Doctor realized. He didn't think at the rate he was going that it would be wise to spend all of it staring at the ceiling and thinking. Instead he closed his eyes, taking the opportunity to get some sleep himself. It took him rather easily, and his last thought before he went under was that it must have been longer since he'd last slept than he remembered.

For awhile his sleep was dreamless, a cool black filter wrapping around his mind. Then from the center of the darkness came a spark of light which exploded into a million more that flew spiraling out to fill every corner of his mind with specks of light. Even before they stop spreading they start to fade, blinking out one by one. When almost all the lights have gone he can make out a figure in the distance, and when there are only a handful left he sees it start to turn. Before he can see it's face he's jerked back into wakefulness by the sound of a familiar voice calling out. "Doctor-"

When he awoke it was to Jack's face just over a foot away from his own, eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed and mouth opened slightly a hand clenching the blanket beneath them. The Doctor moved a hand to his shoulder almost instinctively, meaning to shake him out of his nightmare. What he hadn't expected though, was that as their skin met Jack would lean forward still asleep and kiss him. The lips were warm against his, and after the shock he found himself giving into them. What would it hurt after all, a moment of weakness only he'd remember? Almost as soon as he'd had the thought it sickened him and he pulled away. A moment later he'd leaned forward again, dodging his face this time and letting his mouth hover near the other man's ear, his voice odd as he spoke. "Jack, wake up."

The Doctor pulled his head back once more, just in time to see Jack's eyes blink open slowly. Their eyes met, and the Time Lord's expression of disapproval with himself was misread by the immortal as he pieced it together with the events of his dream. Then it was his turn to pull away, his expression somewhere between apologetic and horrified. "Doc, I'm sorry-" He started frantically as he watched him move to sit up, cursing himself. "I didn't-" His further attempts at apology were cut short as a cool hand made it's way to his shoulder, pushing down so that he was on his back almost pinned and the Doctor lowered his head to press their lips together almost forcefully

For a moment Jack could do nothing but stare wide-eyed up at him in shock. When it ended though, and the lips were pulled slowly away he found himself able to move again, leaning up and cupping the back of the Doctor's neck to bring them together once more. This time there was mutual response, both closing their eyes, actions becoming almost feverish as the kiss continued. Eventually they were forced to part, Jack left trying to catch his breath as the Doctor took the same opportunity to kiss his neck, lingering there as if to hide his face before moving slowly down and resting his forehead over his quickly beating heart.

The pause worried Jack slightly and he craned his neck to look at him, resting a hand lightly on the Doctor's shoulder and feeling the thin material of his shirt. When the Time Lord lifted his head to meet his eyes once more they were filled with something like need. Jack made to sit up, keeping the gaze and returning it as he removed his hold and instead used the hand to stroke his cheek. He leaned into the hand, the touch, and neither of them said anything as it moved lower, working on the buttons of his shirt. The Doctor went so far as to lean his head against his as he aided in the removal of the garments and soon the pile of clothes on the floor had almost doubled.

There was an instant that seemed to stretch forever once they were down to nothing, made up of flickering eyes and not quite the same but close enough. After it they moved, touching and searching and for awhile contact was the only goal and the dried blood that was still on Jack in patches was rough beneath the Doctor's hands. It was him that lead the foray, set the pace that they moved at as he experimented, seemingly conscious of only his own ministrations. But it was Jack who was first to finish, left with an expression that was a magnification of the one he'd had during what had been mistaken for a nightmare, though this time his eyes were open.

As his breathing evened the Doctor moved to slink away, but was stopped by the heat of a hand, then lips on his back which left a trail up to his ear where a whispered message's words were lost to him. Then it was Jack's turn to take the lead, making use of everything at his disposal, almost losing himself in what he was now doing, yearned to for what seemed like ages. Before long though it was over, ending with the Doctor clinging to him almost desperately and his chin resting on his shoulder. The Time Lord almost shook beneath him, tightening his grip and he closed his eyes, whispering once more as he moved his hands to rub his back.

When the Doctor finally stilled, relaxing his hold, Jack opened his eyes to look at him and was once again left staring. A glow had begun to radiate from the Time Lord's body, clearly visible in the dimly lit room. "You're glowing..." He observed, some surprise in his voice. The Doctor started to pull away looking defensive and almost betrayed. Jack stilled him with a light touch, a smile that had been growing dulled slightly at the reaction before he continued. "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"It's just..." The Doctor's defensive start was cut short by the realization that there was a lack of mocking in the tone, and more curiosity then anything. "Normal," he continued hesitantly. "so... Good, I'd guess." He'd almost forgotten about it really.

Something of a look of relief showed on Jack's face, and he moved forward to kiss the Doctor's temple. "That's good..." His comment was fleeting, almost muttered and he was smiling when he pulled back. "I like it."

The comment left him slightly baffled but he couldn't help a grin. His tension had gone almost as soon as it had reappeared, and he felt oddly comfortable laying there. "You like everything." The Doctor accused him teasingly.

"It brings out your eyes." Jack informed him innocently, propped up on an elbow as he lay. It did, he had to admit, leaving them dark within the soft glow and somehow younger.

"There's nowhere left for flattery to get you." The Doctor had reminded him, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "And..." He added as an afterthought. "you owe me a drink."

"You'll get it." He promised, the soft light leaving odd shadows on his face. Jack stretched for a moment before his eyes turned almost serious. "Not that I'm complaining but...why?"

Because he might leave too, because so many others already have. Because he'd let it be at this if he asked, because he needed it. Because it was something he could do, because he'd failed him earlier. Because he loved him, because he never really said what he meant and this meant he didn't have too. Because earlier he'd been afraid, because he'd thought too much. Because he'd wanted it, because he'd needed to feel the warmth to remind himself he was still alive. Because it meant something, didn't it? Because he was always too late with things, because it didn't have to be all running. Because we're here and that can't last forever.

A million reasons flashed through his head and he let them. Instead the Doctor shrugged lazily, raising an eyebrow at the immortal. "I seem to recall you starting it."

"I was asleep." Jack argued, but there was no real fight in his words. He knew an excuse when he heard one. "You sure you're alright?" It was almost a whisper.

"For asleep you had some awfully good aim, Jack." Once again the accusation has no real bite, and there's humor in it. He doesn't dignify the question with an answer, but he smiles.

He's the best that he's felt in a long time, but he wouldn't admit it. Something was filled he thinks, some wall torn down to do it. A gap bridged and an obstacle destroyed at the same time. The doubts are still there somewhere, but for the moment they're gone and he has the memory of warm hands lingering, a warm mouth. It doesn't quite piece together entirely, and he's not sure exactly why himself. But he's not going to regret this he doesn't think.

There's a brief moment when he rethinks the lack of answer, amends it. Looks into another pair of eyes older then the face they're in and his voice is soft as he says a few words in the language the TARDIS will never translate.

But the meaning makes it through, because as the weariness catches up with Jack he wraps his arms back around him, whispering close to his ear though this time he can hear it clearly. "Aimez-vous aussi, Doc." He used another language himself to play along

There's an almost aching silence as the Doctor clutches him, and Jack can't help but wonder if he hadn't wanted him to understand. When he meets his eyes though, there's something of a mischevious spark in them and the hold loosens. "I'm the only other person here aren't I?" He asked, almost smirking. "That was plural."

He expected a laugh, an excuse, something that would change the subject. That he could use the linguistic specifics to gain a foothold or an anecdote. What he hadn't expected was a knowing smile and blue eyes looking through his, and an easy response. "All of you."

"But you haven't met all of me." The Doctor objected, breaking the eye contact. "Just two. That'd just make it both of me. Still plural though. Well... Unless you'd met the other mes before, and I just don't remember it. But then you'd have an addendum I'm sure, 'all of you but'. Can't imagine some of me would have reacted well to you at all. Then there're the ones I haven't even been yet. Then there's the ones I might be, or might have been, or could be. Like the Valeyard. Possible evil future regeneration. Met him a few regenerations ago, tried to kill me." He raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying you love the Valeyard?"

He couldn't help feeling a slight sense of satisfaction as Jack gaped at him. Jack opened his mouth to respond but paused, and gave in a moment later with a laugh. "You win. Both then. So much for that moment." He tried to sound disapointed but the normalcy of the rambling led him to fail.

"It was a perfectly reasonable question." The Doctor pointed out, expression rather amused. "You were being very vague. I had to make sure."

"You knew what I meant." Jack accused him lightly, getting no protest. Letting his head rest he closed his eyes, laying silent for a few minutes. "I'm not going anywhere." He said suddenly, voice soft after the Doctor had thought he'd fallen asleep.

"I didn't say you were." He replied after a moment's hesitation. Silence answered him, and he continued on, earlier doubts slipping in past his better judgement as he whispered. "You can't know that, Jack."

"I do." As he spoke the Doctor couldn't help but want to share that confidence. "I'm staying as long as you want me here. Probably awhile after you don't, too, just to make sure."

He didn't promise, didn't say 'forever'. Because that was a curse, both to live and to say. Forever doomed you, and promising it was the same as asking for the universe to rip you apart. Was always a lie in the end. All the more when one of them was capable of it. They fell into silence, not wanting to argue the point and just, for the moment anyway, accepting it. After awhile they fell to sleep, one then the other. Around them the TARDIS hummed softly as it hovered in the Vortex, and they lay twined as the the soft glow faded away.


End file.
